The Words To Say
by sctwilightvampwolfgal
Summary: Kiku doesn't agree with the nations around him, can't find the words to say to argue back. He can only numbly follow Gilbert away from the conference room as if his name was called today, not Prussia's.


Kiku can't speak, can't move; his eyes naturally gravitate towards the pale skinned man that tries to smile as the papers are read aloud.

Gilbert doesn't speak either, voice somewhere lost in his throat, and Kiku understands why he doesn't yet he knows that even then he doesn't fully understand.

His smile is cracked and broken, but it doesn't falter, not even when the speech is altered for his human name. "The Kingdom Of Prussia, Gilbert Bielschmidt, shall cease to exist anymore as a nation, will not be considered one no matter what happens in the passing of time."

'It's for the best' is agreed and spoken throughout the room in soft murmurs of agreement, but Kiku can't look away from Gilbert, doesn't miss the tear that stains his cheek and slowly falls down.

Kiku doesn't know what to say, doesn't feel like agreeing with the nations around him, feels sick to his stomach.

"I-I'm..." He cuts off, the words left trailing as they leave his lips; there isn't anything that he can say.

Gilbert looks his way, and red never seemed so broken, so lifeless as if the color was draining from it now even though it had always been full of so much warmth and joy in the past.

What was once Prussia finally stands, arms still and lifeless by his sides, "I-I have to go." Gilbert pretends that he didn't stutter and walks away, following a quiet and empty line to the restroom.

Kiku feels his heart shatter and collapse within his chest and numbly follows with a barely there, "Excuse me," that probably didn't even come out in English; he can't focus on anything else but his mission.

Japan stumbles into the restroom; his legs feel broken, but that's not right, he's not who they'd just erased from their lives.

Gilbert stands at the sink, brushing water on to his face, clearing away barely there tears, and seems to have it down as if he hadn't just felt broken and lifeless at the thought of losing his nationhood, his life, and all that he'd claimed to his name.

He stares, barely even blinks when Gilbert yells at him, "Go back to the party at my expense."  
It's broken, but Kiku can't find the words to tell him that.

He walks closer, nudging Gilbert's defensive arm out of the way, acting on pure instinct, unsure of what else to do but knowing that Gilbert always had been an affectionate person no matter what he tried to convince people of.

Prussia bends his face back over the sink, afraid that Kiku will see the tears that the other already knows about.

Kiku dusts his hand over Gilbert's muscled arm and whispers, "You're still Gilbert, and you're still a stronger man than they could ever hope to be." His shoulders feel stiff, ache, but Kiku doesn't slump them anyway.

"I am not Prussia anymore." Gilbert barely lets the words out, tests the way they burn his tongue as Kiku looks on.

"I know that they say you aren't now, but you've always been you, that can't be taken away." Kiku hopes beyond all forms of hope that that is true, feels the ache of what if it isn't pound against his heart, make him feel broken.

"I'm not me, not really. What nation loses this spectacularly and has to resign his right as a country?" Gilbert stops hiding his face, doesn't use water to keep tears hidden anymore.

"Gilbert," Kiku can barely speak, his tears pile up, nearly fall like Gilbert's do, "You aren't resigning. They're scared of you." Kiku can't imagine a powerful country such as Prussia no longer being allowed to fight or live. He'd had the whole world cowering on their knees in fear, not even that long ago.

"Like I can believe that." Gilbert turns to him, and Kiku gets drowned in his best friend as he stares up at him and realizes that Gilbert can't believe it, because he simply can't. He's broken, and Kiku knows this even as he looks on.  
"I-I'm sorry." It's faint and muffled and doesn't at all stop his friend from disappearing come morning, but it's all that Kiku can find the words to say.


End file.
